A Warrior Inside: When My Activist-Self Meets My Spiritual-Self

WINGED YOU IN TIGER FORM

Warning: This article contains swear words and opinions that may offend some people.

I’ve been having some sort of existential crisis with myself this past week. I’m trying to come to terms with two parts of myself that, until today, I felt were opposed to one another. It’s this ongoing internal dialogue that I keep having with myself. Can a “spiritual person” be an activist? It may seem like an absurd question, but I’ve seriously struggling with this, on many philosophical and ideological levels, for quite some time.

This past week I was reading something that one of my favourite spiritual teachers posted and what they said really triggered something in me. I won’t bother getting into who it is or what they said, but the gist of their words was that in order to maintain happiness, a person has to avoid the news and remove themselves from negative situations. What they said really agitated me and made me angry. I feel like I keep hearing this sort of “head in the sand” talk coming from spiritual teachers, and I am going to be honest here: it really, really makes me angry. I know that their hearts are in a really good place and they are just trying to keep people in a place of love as opposed to fear, and that’s a good thing, but to ignore the problems in the world really serves no one, not even yourself.

Perhaps, in fairness to these teachers, they aren’t really telling to people put their head in the sand, but it is most certainly coming across that way. I know where their words are coming from. There is the Universal Law of Attraction. The Laws of Attraction dictate that what you focus your thoughts, words, feelings and actions into is what you create in your life. You manifest what you think. I would have to say that my life experience has shown me that this is true, but I want to make the argument for the collective consciousness here. We are not actually separate from one another here on this physical plane, and so by virtue of this, we are responsible for the well-being of one another and the thoughts and actions of other people will have an effect on us. This is unavoidable as long as you are a human being.

You are not an island. You do not stand alone. Your very existence and survival on this planet is reliant on every living being on this planet. You don’t agree? Go stand in front of herd of running elephants and tell me what happens. Try not eating for a few weeks and let me know how that goes. My point is that we live in an ecosystem, and we live in a physical environment that we heavily rely upon and our lives are impacted by the actions of everything.

A living spiritual teacher that I have the most love and respect for is the Dalai Lama. He spreads his words of compassion and love across the world. The reason why I am bringing up is to show the example that despite all the love and prayers of him and his people, they were not able to stop the brutal murders of thousands and thousands of Tibetans, and the near destruction of their culture. How can a group of practically unarmed people stop an army? Fact is a fact: prayers were not enough. The Dalai Lama and his people, quite simply, didn’t have the means or the resources to defend themselves against the Chinese army. I appreciate the fact that the Dalai Lama maintains that peace, love and compassion are the only answers. I’m asking the question: what is the cost of inaction?

I do my best to maintain a positive outlook and I often envision a peaceful world. When I hear about a situation like Ferguson, I pray and give thanks for a world where racism does not exist. I imagine surrounding the place with love and light. I also like to keep it real. I acknowledge what is actually happening there and allow myself to feel angry. I feel angry for the injustice that I see. This is who I am. I think it’s completely natural and human to have empathy and to react. I am not going to look away and pretend it isn’t happening. I am not going to focus my attention elsewhere because it would be more convenient for me to do so. I feel strongly that is my right and duty to pissed off at injustice. Am I fueling the fires of injustice by paying attention and voicing my opinion. FUCK NO. That’s right. I’m gonna say it. I’m calling out all any spiritual teacher who encourages people to avoid the suffering in this world. Fuck all of you who keep your head in the sand. When you pretend that you have nothing to do with what is happening collectively in this human experience you are lying to yourself. My truth is this: We all created it. No matter where you are or who you are, you helped create everything that is happening right here in this very moment. This is a collective experience. You are an active participant whether you like it or not.

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They want to build a natural gas pipe-line through Burnaby. That’s essentially a part of my city, Vancouver. Everything about this makes me angry. If I were able to completely turn my anger into love and imagine that the pipeline no exists, this will not make the situation go away. They are going to build this thing whether we like it or not. What if blocking the construction of the pipeline actually stops it from happening. What if everyone stopped ignoring the situation and collectively decided to block the roads to prevent Kinder Morgan’s trucks from moving in. Imagine thousands of people standing up and saying no. For the most part I see most current protest models failing. Most protests come across as finger pointing temper tantrums (and often they are) but I think there might still be a place for action. I have a deep love and respect for the Sea Shepherds who put their life on the line to save whales, dolphins and other marine life.

I can sit and pray for a Utopian life all I want, but because I am sharing a collective human experience here with everyone else, I feel it is my duty to keep it real. I will always keep one foot in the shadows because this is what I am here to do. I believe that I can still achieve my own pursuit of happiness, that I can still surround myself with love and light, but I can also keep my eyes open, get angry at injustice, and assist my fellow human beings. If getting angry at injustice this world is not “spiritual” enough for some people, then so be it. I’m okay with the idea of some people thinking that I’m not their brand of spiritual.

As my friend Tana likes to say:

Namaste, bitches.

Much love,

Erin

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Making Myself My Life’s Passion

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I had one of those A-ha! moments in the bath this morning. I often have revelations in the bath. I figure it must have something to do with being in the water. Anyhow, while I was in that bath this morning, I was contemplating why I feel as though I have hit some sort of wall with myself these days. For almost two years now I have been going to the gym and trying to take very good care of myself. I’ve been desperately trying to kick my sugar habit, and I have been mostly eating very healthy food.

The past few months I have sort of lost interest in all of it. It’s not that I don’t care about myself, and it isn’t that I don’t want to feel good about myself. I think that I’ve just grown tired at feeling like I have to work so hard at being healthy and happy. I remembered today that I had a conversation with some friends the other night, where I was telling them it was so much work to take care of myself. We all agreed that it was hard work to look after ourselves. As I remembered this conversation it dawned on me: No wonder I was tired of going to the gym and trying really hard to be healthy! I had turned my self-care into a job. I was treating it like it was work.

I think it’s really important for me to look after myself, and to be healthy and happy. I feel very passionately about it, as a matter of fact. Truth be told, I feel really good when I’m exercising regularly and when I avoid eating lots of carbs and sugar. The thing that I am getting all caught up in is that I’ve made it into something that isn’t fun and I am losing sight of my goals. When I get wrapped up in my fitness app, monitoring my calories and scrutinizing what I eat, I am not allowing myself to relax. When I make a regimented schedule out of my life, eventually I get bored and uninterested. I start to lose my passion when I have turned it into the idea that it’s a full-time job.

Being honest with myself here – it does take effort to be healthy and to do activities that I love and enjoy. Obviously if I just sit around all day eating junk food, I’m not going feel very good both physically and emotionally. The thing that I am learning here though, is that if I take myself too seriously and start to lose the joy out of what I am doing, I am missing the point. I don’t want my life to be a make-work-project. I want my life to be full of passion, joy, love and happiness. I want my life to be my life’s passion!

So starting today, I am going to return to the passion. I am going to return to the reason why I started on this journey of self-care. I am loving myself and listening to my body. I am giving it nourishment and love. I am giving it lots of exercise and healthy food. I am doing this not because it have to, I am doing this because I want to. I want to feel good. I want to be kind to myself. I want to love myself. I’m not doing this for anybody else, just me.

This journey doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be difficult. The only reason why it’s been a challenge is because I was approaching it as a challenge. I’ve been thinking it’s difficult and hard, and so it has been difficult and hard. No more! This life’s passion journey of health is walked with ease and grace, with skips and jumps of joy and happiness.

Here is to making myself my life’s passion.

All my love,

Erin

Learning to Trust

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I have recently come to terms with the fact that I have trust issues. Having said that, I can’t quite pinpoint what exactly the trust issues are. I seem to trust some people without question, and then I don’t trust other people for no reason at all. Isn’t that funny? My trust has been inconsistent. The worst trust issue I have is that I haven’t always trusted myself, and that has gotten me into all kinds of trouble in the past – ignoring my inner wisdom and listening to others instead.

The thing is, I don’t really know if I can fix my trust in other people. The only thing I can really work on is my self-trust.  Self-trust, for me, is the same as my trust in the Universe. I see myself as a microcosm of the Great Divine. Therefore, when I learn to trust myself nothing else matters. A big part of trusting myself means trusting my inner-guidance. It means no more self-doubt.

What does self-trust look like? Self-trust means: No longer second guessing myself; listening to and following through with my intuitive thoughts and guidance; not allowing other people in my life to sway me away from my own inner-guidance; being my authentic self at all times; knowing that the guidance that I am being given on a daily basis comes from a place of Pure Source Love and Light; knowing that no matter what happens to me I am going to be alright (even if I died); believing that I deserve to be happy, healthy and loved; knowing that God loves me and provides for me everything that I could possibly ever want; believing in myself 24/7, 100% of the time, without wavering. I know in my heart of hearts that when I trust and believe in myself, everything always falls into place and works out for me. I am the only person on this planet that knows what is really best for me.

I am not saying that we should not seek the guidance and wisdom of others. I find it so helpful sometimes to ask people what they think about things, and to read up on issues I am struggling with, but ultimately the answers are always found within. When something someone says, or does, doesn’t resonate with me, it is super important for me to pay attention to that moment and to trust myself.

How many times have I encountered situations in my life where I hear that inner-voice telling me to walk the other way or to do something and I haven’t listened? When I listen to that voice, I have always been grateful that I have. When I don’t listen to that voice, I have regretted it every single time.

Here is what I have learned: That inner-voice, inner-wisdom, intuition, whatever you choose to call it – that is your heart speaking to you – your heart is your direct connection to Divine Love. When I ignore my inner wisdom, I am ignoring God’s divine messages to me. Another thing I have learned is discernment: divine guidance does not come as fear. Fear is the ego. Divine wisdom is always with love. If it isn’t loving, it isn’t divine.

It isn’t enough for me to just love myself, I also find it just as important to trust myself. Or perhaps, trusting myself is one of the most important acts in loving myself.

As Toucan Sam would say: “Follow your nose, it always knows.”

Much love,

Erin

 

Good and evil?

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The topic of good vs. evil is one that I think about quite often. It isn’t something that I really know the answer to and I don’t think anyone will ever be able to articulate it in a way that I will find satisfactory, but I definitely have some strong feelings on the topic.

First of all, I didn’t name this article Good VS. Evil for a reason. Good VS. Evil implies that there is this constant epic battle that is happening in this world. That there is Good and that there is Evil, and it implies a sort of black and white type of world. I don’t know about you, but I most certainly don’t experience my life in black and white. I live in a very colourful and vibrant world that has all sorts of tones and shades to it. Having said that, this is where our paradoxical existence lays, we do live in a dualistic reality. So yes, there is good and there is evil….but so what? I’m not trying to be a dismissive jerk about it, I’m just trying say that I don’t see the need to invest time and energy into this perspective that I think can lead myself into a deceptive trap.

Why do I see this as a trap? Easy: If I think of myself as “Good” ,and then I perceive other people, institutions and ideas as “Evil”, then I am constantly separating myself from everything around me. I am no longer able to see myself as a part of the world around me, as being connected to everything, if I am seeing everything in my world as being separate. Most importantly though, I believe that we are all of God’s creation. Every single thing in my reality is God. So really, how can anything be Good or Evil? Again, this is a result of our three dimensional existence. It’s very difficult for us to see the really big picture, from a macrocosmic perspective, at all times. We are very much programmed to see things in a dualistic way.

Here’s the thing: I believe that we choose to be here, because I believe that we all have freewill (although many of us forget that and therefor lack free-will). As a soul-being we make the active choice to be born here on Earth, and to be born into this dualistic reality. Living in a dualistic reality means living in a world of contrast. It means living in a world where there is light and dark, love and hate, men and women. Why do we choose to do this? The only answer that I can come up with is that as a soul we have desires to learn and grow. When we are in our soul-body, with no physical form, we can be anywhere we want at any time. We are astral travelling soul beings who are pure light and are always connected to God-Source-Love. When we agree to become a physical form we choose to bind ourselves to the contracts and agreements made for whichever three-dimensional reality we choose to manifest in. In the case of Earth, when we choose to be born here, we agree to manifest into a dualistic reality. We are here to experience and learn. Why else am I here? If Earth was a place where all I experienced was pure light and love at all times, what would be the point of being here? Really, I may as well just die and ascend to heaven.

I’m here to learn. I don’t see how I can learn my soul’s lessons unless I live in a world of contrast. This is why I live in a world where Good and Evil exists. If I felt good and happy all the time I simply wouldn’t need to be here anymore. I guess this is where my Buddhist tendencies kick in, because I really believe in the old saying “life is suffering”. To be a human being means to suffer. Guess what? I am completely and totally okay with this. Why fight a losing battle? It’s okay to experience pain. It’s okay to get sick and to die. This is why I am here! It’s actually quite a remarkable and beautiful thing!

So I guess what I really want to ask is: Why make a big deal out of this whole Good and Evil thing? It seems more reasonable, to me, to simply accept that I chose to live in this dualistic reality where Good and Evil exists. It is completely impossible for me to be made out of pure light when I have a physical three-dimensional body, and guess what, I have a shadowy dark side to me here on Earth. We all do! Some people see human beings as being imperfect. How can any of us be imperfect if we are all God’s creation? Who do you think created the Devil? God did.

When I look at the history of humanity I see a never ending cycle of war between Good and Evil. One group of people determined that another group people were Evil and they sought to destroy and diminish what they thought was Evil. They thought they were Good and that they must rid the world of Evil. They were doing what they thought was the right thing to do. Over and over again we see the same story and hear the same rhetoric. Tell me, who is really winning? Is it Good or is it Evil? No one is winning. So this is why I ask: why do we invest so much into this? In the end we just end up fighting with ourselves. We do the same thing to ourselves. We don’t like parts of ourselves and we determine different aspects of ourselves to be good or bad. We love it when we make people smile and hate ourselves when we make people cry. We are at war with ourselves.

I feel tired of fighting with myself. I feel like I am reaching a new level of self-acceptance for myself where I no longer wish to fight myself. I just want to love myself – every single part of myself – the way God loves me.

Am I saying that we should allow people to do “bad” things to us? Am  I saying that we should allow world leaders to make decisions to harm lots of people and harm the planet? Am I saying that we should let people bully us around? Hell no! Despite the inevitable suffering that I experience in life, I believe in quality of life. I still want to enjoy life to the fullest, and I think that every human being has the right to have a quality, joyful experience here on Earth. I can’t do anything about the people who choose to have a miserable experience on Earth, but I have every right to ensure that they don’t bring their miserable business into my own existence.

I am a being of Light that was born out of the darkness of the Void.

Much love,

Erin xoxo

 

Me and the Moon

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Over the last year or so it has been brought to my attention that I am emotionally influenced by the Moon. I’m not saying that I blame the moon for my emotions. I just see a very distinct pattern and a strong correlation between my emotional body and the lunar calendar.

I am wondering how many have you have also noticed a correlation between how you feel and what phase the Moon is in.

My pattern seems pretty set. A few days leading up to the full moon I often feel a bit tired and emotional. Sometimes I feel quite melancholy and sad during this time, I also become more introverted and reflective. I would rather be alone and inside during this time, and I also am more prone to emotional eating. Then on the day of the full moon I tend to feel a bit energized and I feel more alert than usual. I also feel like everyone around me is acting a little out of character – but maybe it’s me, haha! Usually a day or two later my menstrual cycle starts and I feel a bit sick and tired for a day or two and then I feel fine. Gradually as the moon wanes, I become more energized and I start to feel really great and I have more energy. By the new moon I feel really good – grounded and centered and quite on top of my game. Then as the moon waxes I gradually become less energetic, and thus begins the cycle again.

It seems like it is quite natural to be influenced by the moon. I mean, the ocean’s tides are affected by the waxing and waning of the moon. Our body is made up of mostly water. Perhaps that isn’t very scientific reasoning, but it makes sense to me. I am wondering though, if I could perhaps find better ways of coping with this pattern. For example, when I am feeling more tired and emotional, maybe if I stopped eating junk food during this time, I would probably feel a lot better.

How does the Moon influence you?

It’s the Pink Moon in a couple of days. I hope we all have clear skies to enjoy the beauty of the Moon.

Much love,

Erin

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Wake Up

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Yesterday I watched the documentary ‘Wake Up’, which is currently available on Netflix. For me personally, this is one of the most honest documentaries about spirituality that I have ever watched. It follows the life of Jonas Elrod over a three year period. It’s basically about a young man who suddenly wakes up one day with the ability to see things that most people are unable to see – auras, chakras, angels and other entities. There are lots of people who would love to have the ability to see these things, but Jonas was initially a very reluctant recipient of these gifts. The movie explores his coming to terms with having these abilities and shows the slowly unfolding of his journey to acceptance and then eventually an embracing of his new path. I found it to be quite honest and at times I could really feel myself relating to his experiences. Awakenings are often not a walk in the park! I think it is well worth the watch.

The website for this movie is here: http://wakeupthefilm.com/

Mental Illness or Mental Wellness

Mental Illness or Mental Wellness: Notes from the Field

I recently received some Theta Healing from Miriam Amylah Blazova, and I have to tell you that I am quite impressed with the immediate results that I observed from this healing session. I highly recommend Miriam as a Theta Healer, and I definitely recommend Theta Healing as a gentle and effective way to deal with core issues or patterns that you may wish to resolve or change.

I have been struggling recently with the issue of setting healthy boundaries with people that I am close to. I have been really struggling with this for the past few years. It has been a recurring problem and I asked for assistance with this issue during my healing session. Soon after our session was complete, I began to feel things shift around inside of me and found myself processing some very profound thoughts and ideas. After that I had a huge “Aha!” moment, that I would like to share with you.

After my healing session, I began to think about something that I often do with other people in my life. When I have some sort of conflict with someone I go through a process where I think about my actions, I think about their actions and I break the situation down. I take what is mine and own it, and parcel out what I believe to be theirs. I haven’t had too many conflicts in my life, so when I do I often find the process to be quite devastating or traumatizing. I will often find myself retreating inwards and internalizing the whole process. One way that I cope with the situation is that I give the person a list of excuses to explain away their behaviour. I then find myself defining that person, quite simply, as being mentally unwell or mentally unstable. They get the “mental illness” label.

I started to think about what mental illness was, and I thought about all the people in my life that I have assigned this unfortunate label. The list was starting to look long. Mental illness was ranging from everything from being bipolar to depression, psychotic behaviour to strange habits. I decided to have a heart to heart with Archangel Metatron about this. I asked him if all the people I had listed were mentally ill, and he said yes. I then had this heart sinking feeling and I asked “Am I mentally ill?”. The answer was: Yes! I couldn’t believe it! I then asked: “Are all humans mentally ill?”. Metatron answered: Yes. He then said: “Mental suffering or mental illness is part of the human condition. No person is immune to mental illness. Every human being will experiences mental illness in their life.”

Having to be honest with myself and face my own mental illness, I came to the next part of my realization. All of these unhealthy patterns in my life are a direct result of my mental illness. For example, the reason why I allow people to be abusive towards me is that I have negative self-talk and I don’t know how to stand up to bullying. Instead of standing up for myself, I shut down. I then started to think: what does mental wellness look like? Mental wellness, for myself, would mean me learning to stand up for myself and not allow people to bully me. I will not allow them to say negative and hurtful things to me, and I will not allow other people push me around. Being able to establish clear boundaries with people is detrimental to my mental wellness. How else can I create a safe environment for myself? It seems clear to me that in order for me to create mental wellness in my life, I am going to have to say no to all of the things that bring mental illness into my life. I have to stand brave like a warrior and and firmly say yes to all the things that bring mental wellness into my life, while turning away all the thing that bring mental illness into my life.

Here is the other important thing that I learned in this whole process, and this was resonated by something that Miriam said to me during the healing: It’s not for me to decide what another person’s mental illness is. It’s time for me to mind my own business. When I go around labeling other people’s mental illness, I am enforcing my own mental illness. It’s the Law of Attraction. If I go around focusing on mental illness – my own and other people’s mental illness – then I am consistently bringing mental illness into my life. Do I want to keep bringing mental illness into my life? Hell no! I want to encourage and develop my mental wellness, and ultimately I want to encourage the well being in everyone else.

That’s it in a nutshell: Focus on mental wellness. Focus on mental wellness. Focus on mental wellness.

I am well. I am well. I am well.

This is the lense that I am now choosing to see my world through. I find myself asking now: Is this for my highest good? Is this good for me? Is this going to help with my mental wellness? If something I am doing is not in accordance with my well being, then I must stop it. If I am interacting with another human being and the things that they are saying or doing are not promoting my well being, then it is my job, it is my duty to myself, to remove myself from the situation. I think it is okay to ask someone to stop doing something that I find harmful to myself in any way, shape or form. If I do not feel comfortable asking them to stop, then it is my responsibility to remove myself from the situation. There is no reason that is a good enough reason to allow myself to be in situations that are not good for me.

I am not saying it is going to be easy. I am not saying that I won’t make mistakes along the way. I am not saying that this is what’s best for you, but  I am saying is that I think it will be worth it.

I am choosing mental wellness over mental illness.

Thank you for letting me share!

Many blessings to all of you ❤

Erin Klis

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About Erin

About Erin

I have been communicating with the faeries since I was a little girl. When I was small, they used to whisper things into my ear and show me places to go to have adventures with the flowers, trees and the animals. I remember one time seeing them in the trees at night, all lit up and flying around. They used to keep me company and make me laugh when I would run hide from my friends and family. We would play in the tall grass or in the bushes. As a teenager, the faeries would inspire me on my walks home late at night. They would keep me feeling safe and protected. They showed me how to listen to the trees, how to communicate with rocks and crystals, and they taught me how to pay attention to the stars in the sky. As a young woman, I invited them to come and live inside my home where I soon learned about their mischievous nature. The faeries loved playing with the cats, sometimes teasing and taunting them. When I wasn’t paying enough attention to them, they would hide my jewellery in strange places or things would just outright disappear.  Despite not always appreciating their silly always, there was a deep love and understanding between myself and the faeries. There was always an undertone of faerie magic in my life, even when I altogether stopped paying attention to them as I got older.

In the spring of 2011, once again the faeries began to make their presence known to me. At first they would drop subtle hints. Objects around the house would go missing, jewellery would be found in strange places and sometimes there were strange sounds at different times of the day. Even my roommates started to complain about things going missing and feeling as though there were people in the house doing things when no one was at home. At first I didn’t quite catch on to what was happening, but then they started to get physical about it. They would pinch me from time to time, and at first I thought I was just imagining these things or that I was going crazy. It took an actual kick to the head, which a friend of mine witnessed, for me to finally realize what was going on: the faeries wanted me to start paying attention to them, like now! Soon after this etheric kick to the head, I acknowledged their presence and made myself available to them. All I can say is that my life has been so much better for it!

After I began to reconnect with the faeries, I started to have some very vivid and intense experiences with them. One day when I was sitting in my living room with my roommate, we both became intensely aware of a beautiful sweet smell that was almost intoxicating. I knew right away that it was a faerie. We realized that the smell was coming from a different part of the house and so we went and stood in the location of the smell. We both became aware that there was an entity and that and that it wanted to speak to us. This was the first time I spoke to a faerie since I was a child. It was really quite exciting, overwhelming and just a tiny bit scary. The faerie told us that she was sent from the Faerie Queen and that she was just checking up on us, to see if we were ready. She wouldn’t tell us what we should be ready for, but it was quite evident that there was going to be a tasked asked of me. There were other visitations from various faerie beings over the spring and summer, and over this short time I became more and more comfortable with having them come into my home.

In the fall of 2011, I threw a party in my home and invited my friends and family, but the main guests of honour were the faeries. I made them a big feast and gave them lots of offerings, invited them to come and live in my home, and most importantly I made a commitment to be of service to them. Over the past year, as I have communicated more frequently and become more connected with the faeries, they have asked me to write for them and become one of their spokespeople. I feel quite honoured to be asked to be their messenger, and I feel truly blessed. It’s all very new and exciting to me, and I hope that you are all able to receive some benefit and blessings from their words. They have so much that they want to share with humanity and they strongly feel that right now is the perfect time for all of us to receive this information.

I hope you join me and the faeries on this journey.

Many blessing and much love,

Erin