I don’t know about anyone else, but lately I have have been feeling GRUMPY. Grumpy as all hell. I grump over here, grump over there, and grump grump grump. I go to bed grumpy….I wake up happy, but I go to bed grumpy. I feel good when I wake up…it’s the moment I leave my apartment and have to deal with people that grump starts to set in. Right now, for me, people are exhausting. Not everyone..there are a few exceptions, but overall I just do not want to play well with others. I think I need to be sent to the time-out corner for a while.
I asked The Faeries why I am so grumpy and they tell me it’s because I am not spending enough time in the day doing the things that I enjoy doing. I do things – like go to work and even go to the gym – out of a sense of obligation and not because I enjoy doing these things. I am finding it so very challenging to find a balance between all of these things. I go to work and start feeling grumpy and then I feel too tired when I come home to do the things that I enjoy, so I plunk myself down in front of the tv and zone out for a couple of hours. I just want to numb myself with tv and food. I wake up, go to the gym, putter around and sometimes do enjoyable things, but overall I am not making it happen.
What can I do to ungrump myself? The Faeries are saying that it’s quite alright to be grumpy sometimes and that I need to just be sure to have my alone time every day. Also, they are saying there is a cycle and rhythm to life and that it’s part of my cycle to be more hermit like right now – I’ve thought about it and this is true. Soon the weather will get warmer and the sun will be out more often and I will feel like being outside and socializing. It’s okay to take a social time out, but I should be more diligent about spending my off work time doing joy related things. Things that make me happy. I’m working on it.
So I am going to just ride this time out. I know it won’t last forever. Don’t worry, I am not likely to grump at you. It’s all kept on the down-low. I vent it out when I jog or go to the gym. Besides, you will probably feel a natural inclination to walk around me, haha. It’s good to be yourself, even if you are feeling grumpy. I don’t hide it, but I also don’t try to make other people grumpy too. I’m owning my grumpy-self. So don’t mind me while I grump away.
artwork by: Brian Froud